QueerBFF is an app that helps you find friends in the LGBTQIA community and I’m here for it! This app is groundbreaking because it’s the first LGBTQ+ networking app that’s solely dedicated to building platonic relationships. In other words, it has all of the fun of making connections online without the pressure of being expected to date or hook up. Personally, I think that our community needs more spaces like this.
I first found out about QueerBFF when I was browsing my social media feed. I came across a post by Comfy Fat Travels, an influencer whose name is J Aprileo. I already enjoy J’s content a lot (and I totally recommend following them), but when I saw their post promoting QueerBFF, I literally gasped. That moment, I realized that this app was offering me something I’ve been desiring for a very long time: a place I can socialize with other queer people, but without the pressure of being flirty/sexual or doing anything else related to dating.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought, “Wow. I wish there was an app where I could make friends that doesn’t have the same pressure that dating apps have.”
Fortunately, QueerBFF came along and made this wish come true. The app is designed to help you find friendships within the LGBTQ+ community. If you think this sounds too good to be true, check out the “About Us” section of QueerBFF’s main website. It clearly describes the app’s intended use:
“We developed QueerBFF for those of us in the LGBTQ+ Community and our straight allies looking for platonic relationships.”
QueerBFF’s mission is to empower queer individuals to build community and bring LGBTQ+ people closer together. The app is free, so there are no financial strings attached to using it. You can connect with people within a 0 to 10,000-mile radius of your location. This helps you find people regardless of whether you’re at home or traveling somewhere else. There’s also a filter that lets you choose a designated age range spanning from anywhere between 18 to 90 years old for the users you’d like to speak to. Based on the profiles I’ve seen in my area, I can honestly say that I appreciate how this app attracts people of different ages.
Another way you can filter your search results is through “gender preferences” and “sexual orientation preferences.” For instance, if a non-binary person only wants to connect with other non-binary people through the app, they can check off the “non-binary” box in the “gender preferences” section. You can also filter your result based on sexual orientation. Personally, I’ve checked the “no preference” box because I don’t care about the genders or sexual orientations of the people I’d like to meet.
I enjoy socializing online, but dating apps and I don’t have a good history. For example, I’ve had bad experiences with fatphobia on dating apps. People mostly ignore me on dating apps, but those who do pay me attention are usually sexually forward, vulgar, objectifying, fetishizing, etc. I explicitly state in my profile that I’m not looking for friends with benefits or hookups, but this doesn’t deter men from sending me crude messages. They’re also frequently rude, insensitive, or downright mean. Yet every time I’ve ever signed up for a dating app, I always hold onto the hope that I’ll meet someone I connect with as a friend.
(Spoiler: That’s never happened to me yet. After all, the people on dating apps usually aren’t looking for something platonic.)
Real talk: Most of the queer people I know around here connect with other queer people through dating apps. You see, where I live, there isn’t much of an LGBTQIA presence. In fact, the unfortunate truth is that I’ve noticed many people in my community aren’t accepting of people who aren’t straight, white, and cisgender. While I do know other queer people in my area, there’s no LGBTQ+ group in my immediate location I can go to that I’m aware of. And honestly, even if there was a queer group/space near me, as a fat genderfluid femme who’s bi, I often worry about “fitting in” with other people in many queer spaces. I’ve been in queer spaces where people disregard me for my size and my bisexuality. For this reason, I gravitate towards online queer spaces more than queer spaces in meatspace.
Truthfully, there’s been a need for an online space like QueerBFF for a while now. Platonic love does have a place in queer culture—it’s just that platonic love is devalued in not only queer culture, but our culture at large. Platonic love deserves more appreciation and respect. Because of this, I think QueerBFF is a big step in the right direction. I treasure my platonic relationships just as much as I cherish romantic relationships. It’s great to finally have an outlet that specifically caters to building platonic relationships.
I also enjoy QueerBFF because I know there’s less of a chance that the people on there are basing our entire interaction on whether or not they want to hook up with me. Because of this, I feel free to browse through profiles and message anyone whose profile resonates with me. I’ve noticed a lot of people feel this same sense of freedom on social networking apps and take it for granted. I, on the other hand, appreciate being able to look for platonic friends in a convenient online location with less of a fear of receiving backlash.
I’ve been on QueerBFF for a few weeks now. So far, I’ve received no messages, but I also haven’t received any rude remarks. The lack of rude messages is a positive change I could get used to. I realize that people are free to reject me, but I could do without being badgered for threesomes and casual sex, then getting insults hurled at me when I turn them down. So far, I’ve experienced nothing of this nature on QueerBFF. To me, this feels as refreshing as ice-cold water on a hot day. In this way, QueerBFF has been kind of a safe space for me. I look forward to seeing this app grow in popularity and gain more traction within the community.
Download QueerBFF for your cell phone via Apple’s App Store or Google Play. You never know—you could be a few taps away from meeting the queer friend of your dreams.
Ghia Vitale is a writer and senior editor at Quail Bell Magazine. She enjoys writing about relationships, sexuality, queerness, body positivity, and more. For more updates, follow her on Twitter and Instagram.